Almost
by blueabyss16
Summary: "I believe that 'almost' is the saddest word." -Blue two-shot. R&R
1. Chapter 1

**Almost**

He wasn't even really mine to begin with.

We were just... together but not.

We send messages to each other. He would hold my hand in public and wink at me at times. He would steal kisses on the cheeks. He'd give me a back hug or two. He'd buy me ice cream just because he thought I wanted one; and I want one. He'd wait for me just so we could go home together. He'd carry my bag. He'd always stare at my green eyes and tell me how pretty they were.

And I'd have felt special... especially if he would sit beside me, close enough for people to think that we're actually together.

But... are we together?

No. No, we're not.

I get hurt every time someone asks me that because I don't know what to say. Did he court me? Did he say he loves me?

I have no proof and nothing to hold onto, saying he's mine."There's no courtship. No friendship stage. He just likes me, and I like him. But the question is: until when will that last?

And then I just woke up, everything changed.

Gone were the days when he was sweet. He won't come and fetch me anymore. He won't meet my eyes; and whenever he would, he'll break contact immediately and act as if nothing happened. His smiles were not directed to me anymore.  
And I started to wonder why.

Did I do anything wrong?

Is there anything wrong with _me?_

And so I asked him that.

"I thought we were okay?"

But he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"We are, aren't we?" he said moments later.

"What happened to us?"

"Why, are we together?"

At that moment, I could feel the tears I haven't felt for a long time. I don't usually cry. And I won't cry in front of him.

"Did I court you? Did you answer me? No, right?"

I felt my heart breaking. It hurts. It hurts because it's true. What am I even holding onto? I have no right. I have no title.

We were together, yet we were not.

What started with "nothing...", ended with _nothing._

What am I to him, really?

"Almost," I whispered. "Almost, Koko. If only you stayed."

He stared at me, and I him. I gave him a smile before turning around and briskly walking away.

Never again, Sumire Shouda. Never again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Almost**

She wasn't even really mine to begin with.

Sumire Shouda was the epitome of beauty and grace, as she always lands on her feet. She is the epitome of charm and wit, as she uses those for her sarcasm. She is the epitome of leadership, as she started her own fan's club that idolizes the good-looking kids in school when we were in elementary.

But she wasn't like that in elementary school. She was a witch. A judgmental, psychotic, dictatorial witch.

I don't know what she saw in me. We don't even have the same circle of friends, but one day, she just started talking to me. _Insulting_ me because I don't smile. Telling me that I should smile more often because I look ugly. As a child, nobody wanted to be called ugly.

I started smiling; laughing, even. As we took our first step into adolescence, the image of her in my mind as a witch changed. Suddenly, she was beautiful. Suddenly, she was a princess. Suddenly, I felt something different. Boys in our grade always turn to look at her whenever she walks by, but none of them were lucky enough to catch her attention. She wasn't forgiving enough before to even look twice at her admirers' advances; and I'm not ashamed to say I am one of them.

And I was lucky.

Lucky enough to call me her friend. Lucky enough for her to look at me the same way I looked at her. Lucky enough to have something more than friendship. But can I offer more? I don't know. I don't want us to stay friends, but I don't want to commit yet either.

I was still a boy. I was in middle school. I didn't know what to do. I was scared.

I… liked her. No, I loved her. I might have been in middle school but I know what I feel. I know the difference between the two. I loved her for a lot of reasons, but I loved her solely because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be smiling like I did now. But I decided to be an asshole to her.

I stopped replying to her texts, I stopped answering her calls, I stopped fetching her, I avoided her at all cost. And it pained me. It hurts like hell. I thought I was doing her a favor, but I was punishing her and myself.

I made her cry the other day. I wanted to punch myself for that, but what can I do? I was leaving. I don't want her to wait for me, when I don't even know when I'll be back.

As I stared at the clouds outside the plane window, separating me from the world below, I can't help but think about what she was doing now. I left her for Canada. Was it worth it? I don't know…

I don't know.

* * *

 **A/N: YOU GUYS SAID YOU WANTED KOKO'S POINT OF VIEW. SO HERE IT IS! :)  
**

 **P.S. CAN YOU PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER? ;)**


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